If you're learning that you do, in fact, have Hyperemesis Gravidarum for the first time, you may be wondering what symptoms you are experiencing are as a result of HG, or just being pregnant. There may be such a huge onslaught of "new," that you don't even know what to expect anymore.You may have also had some scary things happen, and you're wondering if you're not alone, if it is normal. Here, we'll tell you what the "HG normal" is. ;)

• Vomiting Bile and Blood- This happens pretty often among patients. If you're not sure what bile, also known as "stomach acid" looks like, it can vary in color but is typically green-yellow and will taste...well, like bile. Blood can vary in shade as well, being darker to crimson. These are important things to bring up to your doctor in your next appointment; even if there isn't immediate action taken, they will at least be aware and may see a need to add medications/treatments or increase dosages. Vomiting bile means you literally have nothing left to vomit besides your stomach contents. I had this happen often, and just a note: for me trying to get rid of the taste with a sip of water made it worse, I chewed gum and that helped. Blood can happen because you have a tear in your esophagus or because your throat tissues are irritated. The irritation could be because of how often you're vomiting or something you ate. Rice (when I was trying to morning sickness remedies of eating bland foods) never failed to tear me up. 

• Ketones- This is your body's indication of starvation. When you are starving, your body starts to break down itself in order to survive, thus spilling proteins called "ketones" into your urine. Most doctor offices test for this when you submit a urine sample at doctor appointments. Ask about it. You can also use test strips at home. You dip the test strip in your urine and the strip will react and manifest a color showing how much ketones are in your urine. By the time I knew about these, my doctor monitored mine closely enough I didn't need to do this, but here is an example to look for. You may need to call ahead in stores near you to find one, but I found them at Walgreens. Here is a color chart example so you can see how it works. If you do this and find they are present, take a picture for your doctor. If you consistently have ketones and your doctor is acting unconcerned and not doing anything more to help you, get a new doctor! Ketones present can hurt your baby over time, not to mention you. In the most severe of cases, you may require hospitalization.  I was hospitalized because of the need to get my feeding tube placed, but also because after a blood draw, my liver function tests were alarming. This happens when you have been starving for a prolonged period of time. Make sure that you and your doctor are monitoring your ketones to protect you and baby.
  
  
• Constipation- Almost undoubtedly, you're dehydrated and that's going to affect your digestive system. And you're pregnant. And, you're probably taking Zofran or Phenegran. All are going to compound the problem. Obviously you can't fix the problem with diet or exercise so what do you do? I would suggest trying fiber gummies. I took double the recommended dosage (the max per day) and right before bed. They get absorbed quicker and stayed down better. Also to try, enemas. It is a saline bottle that has a flexible tip that is inserted into the anus. Squeezing the saline inside of you in this manner will trigger an involuntary response and urge to pass stool. Sounds unpleasant, but they are fantastic. They are available in grocery stores, just follow the instructions on the box. If you can keep it down, stool softener is also available over the counter. My (and my husband's favorite in treating his patients as a nurse) is Senna-S, shown below, and I also took the max dosage. I also crushed these and administered via my feeding tube, that is an option as well for those with a PICC or central line.  Another treasure trove is Witch hazel wipes if you have hemorrhoids already. For extra comfort, keep the container in the fridge so that they are cool when you are ready to use them!

• Lack of bladder control- As if HG didn't make  you lose dignity enough, you didn't escape the good ol' relaxing of the muscles in the land down under. While engaged in violent vomiting episodes, things can get tricky. My favorite method is sitting on the toilet and vomiting into a bowl/bucket, and then emptying contents into toilet. If it's plastic, make sure you're not attached because the smell is hard to get out. The disposable gallon ice cream buckets are perfect, lid included to keep smells at bay. Garbage bins (including at public restrooms, don't eeeeeven feel bad, just grab it and run to the nearest stall. They'll get it back!) If there isn't a container of some sort, and you don't have something with you, just grab wads of toilet paper and hold it in place so no urine gets on you or the floor. I recently discovered some panties that are designed for leaky mommas, go here for the video! (And you can always use pantyliners as well.) If you're on the go, keep ziploc or emesis bags in your purse.  You may have a stash from hospital visits or when you're at the doctor's office and the staff recognizes you and starts stuffing them in your face. :) There are different kinds. 

Which brings us to....

• Emesis bags- There are two basic designs. You'll find which you prefer. I looooooooooooove these ones! (shown immediately below) the rim fits around your face so there is no splatter, and when you're done with the bag, you can twist it and secure it in place by pushing it into one of the notches on the rim. 
  
  
  
  
  Here is another kind. Not as much of a fan because it doesn't fit around your face. Folds up great to go in pockets or small purses though!
  
  
  
  
  
  And if someone tries to give you this....if you value your clothes or or other possible casualties, just don't.  Try not to laugh at the pathetic kidney bean, just ask for a garbage can if they have nothing else.
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Broken teeth/teeth problems- The effect on teeth of Hyperemesis Gravidarum matches the horror stories that you hear about Bulima: because both involve frequent vomiting. If you are able to brush your teeth, you may be tempted to do that afterwards to get the taste out. Don't do it! With the acid still on your teeth it actually worsens the problem by brushing your teeth with it still on the surface. If brushing your teeth is a vomiting trigger for you, try switching up toothpastes, (choosing the ones labeled "for sensitive teeth" could really help!) brushing your back teeth first as it will make the toothpaste stay away from the taste buds longer, this helps some women. If you can't brush your teeth, try swishing mouth wash or water.  

• Lack of hygiene- It may be that you are so ill that you cannot physically handle things like bathing/showering, brushing your hair, putting on makeup, etc. The first one in particular can be a doozy. You're very malnourished, and standing up in the steam and the heat can worsen dizzy or fainting spells. At my worst, I only bathed once every 4-7 days and had to take a short bath. If you have someone that can help you bathe such as a spouse, sister, or trusted friend, even if it's only washing your hair, you will feel so much better. Make sure that if you don't brush your hair everyday, that you keep it in a braid if it's long enough. Many women with HG get dreads, rat nests, and impossible knots in their hair, sometimes so badly they just have to cut it off. A possible alternative is a lot of patience and brushing starting from the bottom up. Using conditioner will help too.Some women also have the problem of hair loss, it coming out in large clumps on their pillow, in the shower, and so on.
  

• Conflicting opinions- Whether it's your family, friends, or medical staff, because Hyperemesis Gravidarum is rare, not very much is known about the condition itself. It's going to be hard because it is such a strong emotional time for you, and a lot of people are going to have opinions, and when they don't work, they may chalk it up to you being over dramatic or that you did something wrong. 

Avoid becoming bitter- With so many people offering suggestions to try, saying things like "Oh, I was so sick too!", people not taking you seriously, people avoiding you and being ashamed of being around you, etc. It's hard for that not to take an emotional toll, because well, you're human! Find people who will support you, and even if it's one of the Facebook groups. And something that I've started to say is, "I have a rare condition called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I can't stop vomiting, and to a point that my body is literally in starvation mode." Putting it in terms like that, and completely disassociating it with morning sickness can help them to see HG for what it really is.

• • Find things to be grateful for, even the tiny things. If you're religious, pray for help to see the positive things that will come out of this, pray for endurance and spiritual peace. If you're not religious, try to see the "silver lining" of things. I know it may seem ridiculous, and I'm not going to say it'll make all your problems go away, in fact, your situation may not change at all! But I do promise it will help, it will give you a sense of hope, and it will give you the strength to carry on. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Here is an extremely touching video that helps us learn how we can find happiness, even in our darkest hours of life.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

You may not be very pleased with the treatment your doctor is offering for your Hyperemesis Gravidarum. It occurs too often, there is not enough awareness and education on HG. However, there has been a network set up in two places (that I know of thus far).

Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) Facebook group

• First, you need to be added to the group. It may take a little while, there are only 4 administrators for the +7,800 members. 
• Next, when you open the page, at the top you will see "Pinned Post" by Angela Hawkins. (Remember to read the rules!) Click on that. 
• The last link offered in the pinned posts is titled " Need a doctor? Check our list." 
• Click on that link, look up your location information, (worldwide) and call the doctor!

Help Her Referral Network

• Go the the website here.
•  Enter your location information. (worldwide)
• Find the one(s) closest to you and give them a call! 

What if there isn't a doctor near me?

Sorry, but you may need to "blaze the trail." If you are in this situation, go to this website here to see a list of interview questions to ask you doctor. Remember you are putting your life and your baby's life in his/her willingness to help you with your HG. Trust your gut and pray!

How to get ready for your first doctor appointment

They say that first impressions are very important. If you are getting ready to meet your doctor for the first time, here are some of my suggestions. (In addition to interviewing the doctor beforehand with the questions mentioned above.)

• Write down your medications and dosages. This may not apply to you if this is your first Hyperemesis Gravidarum pregnancy unless you are taking unrelated pregnancy medications.  If this is not your first time, write down what medications you have tried, regardless of their efficiency in treating you.
• Write down or be prepared with a firm number of the average amount of times you vomit a day, and include what your minimum and maximum ranges are. When you say "I throw up all the time" there is much room for interpretation. When you say "I throw up on average 20 times, the fewest being 10, the max being 30," they take you more seriously and it's very clear that you're not dealing with morning sickness.
• Don't be afraid to speak up. Your doctor may start rattling off morning sickness treatments. For my first baby, when I didn't know what HG was, there was a nurse in the office that was very rude and didn't listen. She obviously didn't have any patience for my supposed over-dramatic, first-time-pregnant woes. When I went in to get fluids, the first time she sent me away, telling me to go and try a list of remedies that I'd already tried. The second time I went in, she did the same thing, but this time I interrupted her with "tried that." She seemed to think it was a contest and started naming off a total of at least two dozen different remedies. When she started repeating herself and couldn't think of anything more, she said, "Wow, you really have tried everything!" Guess what? I got the fluids. If your doctor or medical professional is taking the conversation in a direction you don't agree with, be courteous, but get them back on track. 
• Keep it together. You're about to see the person that you're literally putting so many hopes and trust in, hoping that they'll help bring an end or balm to your suffering. That plus pregnancy.....you're prone to get emotional. Try to keep the tears at bay, especially if your doctor is a man; a gender who tend to feel an urge to flee when women are crying. 
  
  
  Keep your answers concise. Doctors are often behind schedule, and are trying to get around to see the appointments as fast as possible. They may be harried, and may not want to take a long time to discuss your treatment. If you try and abbreviate as much as you can without leaving important details out, they will be less prone to interrupt you or stop listening to what you're saying. This relationship will help you to get to all of your concerns and make for an open environment. 
• Write down your questions. When I'm pregnant, I have an ongoing memo or note on my phone listed "Questions for Doctor." In between appointments, I always think, "Oh, I should ask about that," and then completely forget what I wanted to ask in the appointment itself, even if it's been a hot topic in my thoughts for weeks. This shows that you are coming to your appointment prepared, and that you value your doctor's time. Not to mention helping to get your questions answered despite a pregnant/mommy brain! 
• Be courteous, but remember you're paying for this appointment. More times than I could count in my first pregnancy, I waited a loooong time to be seen, and then my doctor tried to do the 30 second appointment and get the heck out of there. It took me a while to get the courage to say, "I'm sorry, before we're finished, I have a concern." Or something to that effect. I felt like I was imposing on his time and wanted to help him catch up at my own expense. When I realized what I was doing, I stopped myself by realizing I was paying for this time, and I needed to take advantage of it to get the care I needed. Now, if you have a found a doctor that says, "Do you have any more questions?" until you run out of questions, in my book, you have found a winner. I did for my second pregnancy, if you'd ask me, I'd tell you the sun rose and set on my doctor!!
• Send resources. If you are "blazing the trail", send the helpher.org resources to your doctor ahead of time. Do it with plenty of time before the appointment, and then follow up at least three days (beginning of business day) before to see if your doctor has read it. If they haven't, ask them to, call back the next day and see if they're gotten to it yet. Be kind and respectful, because you don't want to come off as over bearing, but you do need him/her to be prepared to help you. 
• Send your patient records. This is common sense, but I thought I'd put it here to help ease your mommy brains!

I grew up hearing about "really bad, all day, morning sickness" but never knew it as more than that until late into my first pregnancy. My mom was constantly sick, and I have memories of seeing her as a child in her pregnancies. I guessed that there was a chance that I would get sick too, and when I got pregnant for the first time I quickly found out for myself. Then, people started asking me if I had the same thing that the Princess Kate Middleton had. Never being one to follow the tabloids, it was the first I'd heard of it. Then I talked to my doctor and asked hesitantly if that was what I had. The response, "Oh yeah. You are the poster child, a classic, perfect example of Hyperemesis Gravidarum."

You've seen this before in the blog, but thought I'd put it here to help out again!

So if you're like me, you may be looking for validation of your feelings that what you're going through cannot be morning sickness. That it's not normal. But where is the line? Here's a bit of a general rule that doctors go by...

• loss of greater than 5% of pre-pregnancy body weight (usually over 10%) The percentage is important because it is possible to lose weight with morning sickness.
• dehydration and production of ketones (proteins spilling in your urine, indication of starvation.)
• nutritional deficiencies
• metabolic imbalances
• difficulty with daily activities

Before we get into this though, it's important to realize that misery isn't a contest. There is nothing to be gained from trying to see if "my life is harder than yours." However, Hyperemesis Gravidarum is real, and it is different than morning sickness. Someone may have different challenges that makes their morning sickness pregnancy so much more difficult than meets the eye. I've heard somewhere the phrase,

Here's what we said...

I asked women for their input on why they considered themselves to have mild Hyperemesis Gravidarum instead of morning sickness. Here are their thoughts.


"Mine hasn't been deadly. No PICC line or anything like that. However, when my HG started I threw up 20-30 times a day, even with medication. I have been to the ER countless times for fluids due to being dehydrated. There are a lot of women who have it a lot worse than me. I have my days where I can function, but the nausea is ALWAYS there. No matter what. I'm extremely tired, feeling like I'm always fighting a battle. Food isn't safe. Most drinks aren't safe. Weak body. No sleep." -Shelby



"My morning sickness was all day with my previous two, but I could stomach most liquids and foods just throwing up a few times a day. I didn't really know what HG was until my doctor told me what I had, this time around I lost 8kgs (17.6 pounds) in 3wks, I got badly dehydrated and my body started a food aversion, for 3wks I didn't eat, I couldn't stomach water even and I ended up hospitalized, I think that's where the difference was for me. With my first I gained 28kgs (61.7 pounds), with my second I lost 2kgs (4.4 pounds) the day I went into labor, this one I'm 20wks on Saturday and am still under pre-pregnancy weight." -Sky



"My OB said she diagnoses when you have to call in for fluids because of dehydration. If you're not losing weight, then once is probably in the realm of morning sickness. More than one hospital trip and losing a high percentage of your weight is the key to me. I didn't know first pregnancy, but second pregnancy I got a diagnosis and help because of my concerning weight loss. I had lost more than 10% of my body weight by mid pregnancy. She diagnosed me because of the weight loss and fluids trips."-Laura

"I would vomit 20+ times a day, Lost weight, ER visits with IV, Zofran , Phenergan suppositories, Reglan. It lasted into my 3rd trimester. A feeling of a loss of self. Not being able to live your life normally and take care of kids or work."-Stephanie



"For me, HG was so much more than just nausea and vomiting. It was my entire body feeling exhausted from doing nothing, tired and out of breath from just showering or walking across the room. I would just lay in the dark not moving for hours. I would be starving but completely unable to eat. Or knowing that when I took meds for it that I had a very short window where I could eat and drink without getting sick or feeling bad. I would choose food based on how "easy" it would be to throw up. I had no choice. And my HG this time wasn't severe. It was severe with my twins, so I knew it could be worse, but still I was completely unable to do anything for myself or anyone. It was like being trapped inside a depressed eating disordered body and having no choice in it."-Britney


"This pregnancy has been what I considered mild HG. I feel that it's HG rather than morning sickness because I still required IV hydration, a hospital stay and medication. And it affected my daily living and being able to function." -Tricia



"I had morning sickness my first pregnancy. I had a lot of vomiting and nausea for about 7 weeks but could keep down some food and stay hydrated without medication. This pregnancy was so much worse than morning sickness. I couldn't keep anything down at all. A sip of water and I would be vomiting five minutes later. One hospital admission for dehydration and then I was put on Diclegis, which thankfully worked. I was still spending all day in bed and only showering once a week, which took everything out of me. My quality of life suffered. Thankfully it stopped around 20 weeks, but I've started vomiting in the morning again now in my third trimester." -Elizabeth


"I considered mine in the category of HG because I lost 30 pounds very quickly. Nothing was helping. Most days I couldn't even eat or drink anything and when I did I threw it up. I couldn't function, or get out of bed without feeling like absolute death. I also would go days without eating or drinking anything." -Kayla




"I knew when I became dehydrated and had to go to hospital. Morning sickness is feeling nauseous and possibly being sick but still managing to stay hydrated and nibble on snacks. HG is being unable to keep anything down for longer than 30 mins meaning you get dehydrated and lose weight."
-Daniella


"From what I gathered from people giving advice, morning sickness...you do throw up but you still can eat. And it only lasts for a short time (my sister in law was sick for 3 weeks and asked me how I did it for 7 months). While my case was no where near as bad as some I've seen [on the HG Facebook support group] I still lost 25lbs the first month I was pregnant didn't gain any weight with my daughter until I was 7 months only gained 17 lbs total (which was because I could finally eat and I took advantage of that) I did have days where I didn't throw up but those were also days I didn't eat or drink."-Gesina

"My previous pregnancies have been moderate-severe (hospitalizations, fluids, no response to meds), but this one I'd consider mild-moderate. I've never had a non-HG pregnancy, so I'm not sure what routine morning sickness feels like. I consider this time to be mild HG because without meds, I'd be hospitalized for sure. I can't keep food down without them, and I know I'd be seriously dehydrated. However, since I started meds at my positive test this time, I've been able to keep myself hydrated without IVs and I've gained some weight (about 8-9 pounds at 28 weeks, yay!) instead of losing like my previous pregnancies. I know it's HG and not just regular morning sickness because it REQUIRES meds in order to keep me from being seriously ill, and it doesn't go away at the end of the first trimester."-Sarah


"I think I've had mild/moderate HG. I wasn't hospitalized and I vomited only 4-5 times a day. But It wasn't morning sickness because:
 1. I was feeling bad all day. All the time. No relief. Not even after vomiting. I suffered from constant nausea, gagging, dizziness and headaches.
2. The meds never made me feel well. They did take off the edge though.
3. I couldn't take care of myself. Things like walking, talking, preparing food and getting dressed were very difficult or impossible.
These things are not typical of morning sickness, to the best of my knowledge."-Shira




"Well at first I thought it was just morning sickness and wondered how mothers did it time after time. It wasn't until I was down 15 lbs, passing out and going 3-4 days without holding liquids down that required multiple ER trips that I figured out it wasn't 'just morning sickness'"-Mallory


"I was in denial that I had HG for the longest time. I kept attributing it to morning sickness but as my weight began to decrease and I was being admitted to the hospital I accepted it. I never threw up as much as many of the others but I threw up enough that it physically affected my body and life. I found myself straying away from food because I didn't want to throw it up. At work I was useless but I did everything I could to keep my job." -Katie



"I classify mine as mild HG because it affected my daily living and I lost a lot of weight (as well as being diagnosed by my midwife). I feel like women who have ms can still function. I could not work or care for my kids properly and keep up with housework." -Emily


"I know I have HG because I couldn't keep any food down and when I had an empty stomach I would just dry wretch. 3 Hospital visits for dehydration and lost weight. I consider it mild because I haven't vomited since I started on Zofran 2 and a half weeks ago (though I'm still nauseated most of the time but can function a bit)" -Jo

Although I'm sure most of us would LOVE to have a simple glass of water.

"I start off moderate and with medication and IV therapy I become mild. I still consider myself HG until the end because I still need IV hydration in the third trimester and still vomit even on meds...just less frequently. Oh and the debilitating fatigue! I could barely get off the couch some days." -Anastasia


"I classified mine as mild. I lost quite a bit of weight when I was having my son. I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink, I was vomiting all the time. When that finally stopped I was always nauseated so even though I had stopped vomiting as much, the thought of food turned my stomach. I couldn't study anymore, I couldn't watch after my 2 year old. I couldn't cook and cleaning was an effort. It really stuffed me up. I had morning sickness with my daughter and this was very different." -Melanie


"I'm gonna make a list. I'm very much aware my case is mild. But these make me think I have HG:

1. Spending your day either in bed or on the sofa when not medicated.
2. If medication has stopped making effect, moving, a smell, coughing, brushing teeth... cause violent vomit.
3. Stopped going to places I love because there's a smell I had not noticed before (or I used to like).
4. Lots of smells, loud noises, moving fast, riding in the car, looking at a screen... cause nausea, hyperventilation and a feeling like I'm about to faint.
5. Vomit, though not frequent, is violent enough to cause digestive bleeding, peeing on myself, bursting of face blood vessels, dizziness, choking. Have vomited pure blood and bile.
6. Although I do not need a ton of medication or a big combo (on 12 mg Zofran a day, plus a lot of Pepcid, right now), I depend totally on the medicines to have a semi-normal life at 18 weeks.
7. Severe motion sickness I have never ever had when not pregnant.
8. Horrible stomach pains after eating anything (except one safe food), even drinking when not medicated. Tremendous excess of acid/bile in stomach.
9. Despite painful horrible hunger, my brain decided that food and drink were poisonous and disgusting. Despite the medication there are whole food categories I can't even get near to yet.
10. Loss of 23 pounds in 6-7 weeks. No weight gained the last 3 weeks.
11. Dehydration: dark orange urine, tiny quantities; dry cracked skin and lips; dry eyes and flat veins; some lack of electrolytes and some protein in urine.
12. Exhaustion, lack of concentration, feelings of depression and inadequacy, weakness.
13. OB diagnosis.
14. Sleep issues caused by nausea." -Mireia
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Before you go...

Whether you have morning sickness or Hyperemesis Gravidarum we can all agree; pregnancy isn't glamorous on anyone! I hope that you get some help, support and relief in this difficult time. Until then, enjoy these memes that we can all relate to.

When you are in the throes of Hyperemesis, it's hard to take care of yourself, much less older children. 

Throw away the guilt

When you are a Hyperemesis Gravidarum patient, life is not going to be as it was. You're not going to do all the same things you did as a mother before becoming pregnant. You may have to give up or adapt things like home cooked meals, fun play dates outside, family excursions, and so on. This is a hard thing to let go, but remember, right now it's about survival. Also to remember, as my mom says, "Having babies is a family affair." Everyone's situation is different, but what "survival" could look like for you is a mixture of children stepping up, husband filling in, and friends and extended family lending a hand.

You just "do"

I remember when I was pregnant with my first son and I was talking to my mom (who had 6 HG pregnancies) on the phone, and she told me that this was going to be my easiest pregnancy. I was bemused, I had no idea what she meant by that. When I was pregnant with my second baby, it became crystal clear. I remember fearfully asking her how she did it, how did she take care of her older children while pregnant herself and not always having people around to lend a hand. She said, "Eden, you just 'do.'" Now, I know that by that she meant that "just do," we create a balance of letting less important things go, and stepping up with inhuman efforts to continue to care for our children even when we can scarcely function ourselves.

Asking for help

I had never really been in a situation where I couldn't do things until I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Or at least, that the most inconsequential things took a mountain of effort. It may be that in order for your family to function...that you may need to do a bit of swallowing your own pride to accept help. And that is okay, because being sick is not your fault, and it doesn't make you any less of a mother. This is a life lesson on a platter to help you grow as a person, and for those closest to you to have that experience as well.

Is there anything I can do....? 

You may have had people hearing about your condition and asking, "Is there anything I can do to help?" They may not in actuality plan on following through, they may be offering out of social courtesy, or they may genuinely want to help your situation, but they're offering, so be prepared! Keep a list, maybe it's a mental one or one in or your phone, but if someone offers their help be prepared to say, "Why yes, I really could use some help cleaning my kitchen" or, "I would love some company and have a talk with someone, is there a time you can come by this week?" or, "My child would love a playdate, could they come play with your kids?" Let them know when would work for you and ask what would work for them, establish a time then if possible. If family is all far away but really want to help, perhaps suggest "play packages" with exciting new coloring books, dollar store toys, etc. for your children if applicable. They could also order and have food delivered to your door. Above all else, if you're up for it, Facetiming and phone calls can help to keep the loneliness at bay. These are just suggestions to provoke thoughts of what may be the best help to you in your situation. But all of this needs to be done with a lot of gratitude so it doesn't seem like you're being a "leech" or taking advantage of their kindness. Send them a thank you card, make sure to be gracious and grateful, and keep a mental note to do a kindness in return when you're back on your feet.

Family and Friends

Again, remember that, "having babies is a family affair," meaning that when mom is down on her back with HG, it's okay for the other members of the family to step up and fill in. Believe it or not, but our superhero mothers are not invincible. *gasp!*  I know, the secret is out! And this pertains to extended family as well. Good friends that you trust to help with your precious children are also a resource, and if you play it right, everyone can "win" from the situation with a play date! If you are worried about taking advantage of your friends, first consider if this is a matter of swallowing your own pride and expressing gratitude. If you still want to do something in return, offer to get them dinner. And you don't even need to cook it if you're unable to, send them a pizza and prepackaged salad! Order food and have it delivered! Funds are almost always an issue with growing families and accompanying HG medical bills, so you may need to get creative if you feel like you need to do this. But again, there's going to need to be a little bit of swallowing your own pride here, and it's okay to have an "IOU" between friends. Again, express gratitude, don't take advantage of others, and try and return the favor once you're back on your feet. For more a suggestive checklist of possible needs, follow this link here. I especially would recommend looking at this if you are here in effort to support a friend or loved one, it's a good checklist of ways you can help.

Employ day care/babysitter

If you don't know someone that can come and watch/take your kids, you can look into day cares in the area or even hiring a babysitter. One website that was recommended to me by another HG mom was www.care.com We didn't use it because I found out about it after my babies were born, so I can't tell you my experience. However, it wouldn't have been an option anyway, because we were on a tight budget.

Hire someone to clean

You can do an internet search to find services available near you. Again, care.com is a  great resource to be found here.

When there isn't someone around to lend a hand...

Sometimes, all you have are your own devices. Perhaps you've moved and haven't gotten to know people yet in your new area, maybe you're surrounded by family, but everyone has full time jobs or you can't trust them with your children. Maybe you are receiving help, but even then, it's rare that you would have access to it 24/7, and as we know, mothers don't ever get to "clock out."

So I'll admit, I probably don't have all the experience that you're looking for. When I was pregnant with my first, the closest family lived 7 hours away. With my second, my first was 6 months old (they are 15 months apart) and my closest family was an hour away; since we had just moved, I didn't really have people to reach out to. My dear sister was wonderful and helped how she could, but she was in school full time and had a job, she couldn't dote on me hand and foot. I survived by doing bare minimum on housework and spending alot of time laying down next to my son while he played. Later on, my Mom drove up to meet us and took my precious son to be with her for a week and half while I was in and out of the ER and ended up being hospitalized for 4 days. I also had kind souls bring dinner several times, one came and clean my apartment, and one came to help me pack up whilst moving. Each of them will be forever remembered in my heart for coming in my hour of dire need. To compensate for my lack of experience, I have scoured the internet looking for moms that have gone through being bedridden with children and compiled some of their ideas while adding my own. There are also ideas that apply to all age groups, since mothers could have older children home during the summer break, or at least after school. Remember these are all only a list of suggestions, what "survival" looks like is going to change from family to family. 

There's nothing wrong with TV

You are in survival mode. You just need to do what you can! If your kids will tolerate watching the TV, there are different "educational" shows you can offer. My favorites are "Daniel Tiger" and "Signing Time." I am an ASL interpreter in training, so that explains the latter choice: I want my kids to learn this beautiful language as well. Daniel Tiger is great because it helps the children with development and learning how to manage life while teaching us as parents how to help them navigate different milestones. For older age groups, try and find age appropriate stimulating shows, in my experience (growing up babysitter and sibling as well as mother) having a show that doesn't just turn your brain to mush helps with tantrums. But if "mush" is all that's available, mush it is!!

Library Resources

There are lots of great things at many public libraries. If unable to handle a short trip yourself, you can send a friend or your spouse to pick up different items. Of course, they have books, but you can also explore books on tape for your or your children, different "storytimes" that perhaps a friend could pick up your child and take with them to, games, toys, movies, shows, etc. that could be a great asset to your family. And the best part is, is that most libraries have a drive by drop off when turning things in to make your life easier.

Activities at Home

Since I don't have personal experience entertaining older children while managing Hyperemesis Gravidarum, I scoured the internet and find some ideas to share from those that have in addition to the few that I did use. :)

Coloring books- These can be great for all ages. With my then 9 month old, I used this often until his brother was born at 15 months. If children are small, putting them in a high chair and perhaps tearing a page out and taping it to the tray could be a good idea. I like crayons because that makes my life easier, cuts down on more...artistic surprises than I bargain for.

Play dough- You can either buy these at the store, or you can make your own at home! To see one example of a fun recipe, go here.






Blanket Forts- My family has great memories of our blanket forts. We had an awesome basement with lots of open spaces, and we made forts  that would take up entire rooms! Blanket forts can be as simple or as complicated as you like, and I found a really cute idea online for making PVC blanket forts. This could especially be great if you don't really have alot of space or for older children. To see this tutorial, go to this link here.

Also an idea, especially if space is limited, use the kitchen table! Grab some blankets and books or pillows to create a "drape" effect, and I'm sure that this will occupy even very small little ones because of the fun they'll have playing peek a boo with themselves/you.


Games- Obviously this suggestion is going to be different for different ages. My little sister was obsessed with  "Go Fish" and "Old Maid" when she was 3-4 years old. Check out your local library to see if they offer games to check out. See if you can find them at secondhand stores near you, they usually have them very cheap. And, this is something else that someone could help you with, being willing to let you borrow some games for a few weeks. You can lay on the floor or the couch and have the game on a table with the kids surrounding you.

"Fishing"- This could be a fun thing for you to create as a family and for the kids to play with after. Go to the tutorial here. If sewing skills are nill to none, you could substitute with paper fish and glue paper clips or magnets to the fish. If you want them to last, try using posterboard or cardboard even.

Snacks- This aspect of your everyday life has alot of potential. This is something that people can do to help you, it's always great to have healthy snacks on hand for your kids that you don't have to prepare. It could also be a "crafty" thing that they could do at the kitchen table while you lay down on the couch to supervise. Things like string cheese, fresh fruit and vegetables, lunchables, crackers, pretzels, etc. are all ideas that are nutritious but potentially have minimal mess while presenting minimal smells that could trigger vomiting. (Knock on wood, children always have a way of showing they can go beyond limits and expectations!) Now, don't mistake me, I'm not telling you you have to make "pinteresty" snacks. I would never tell an HG patient to do that. What I am saying is that this is something that could be prepared by a helper or by you, and then you can leave children to create and consume their art. I tried to pick ideas that could be minimal messes and smells, but obviously not all of them may not fit in the category for  you and your children. (Bananas are banned from my house when I'm pregnant, instant trigger!)

***Some of these ideas include skewers or toothpicks. If this isn't age appropriate for all of your children and you can't supervise from the couch, cut off the pointy ends to make them blunt and that can help possible causalities. ;)

"Ants on a Log" aka celery, peanut butter and raisins

Apple slices can be left by a helper in lemon juice so that you don't need to cut them yourself. Add toothpicks and grapes, voila!

Again, use lemon juice. Raisins, peanut butter (although this smell may be a trigger, if it is skip it.) and pretzels.

Celery Stalk and body, veggie dip white filling, cucumber, and I'm guessing banana eyeballs?

Strawberries, pineapple, blueberries, and cheese. The cheese can just be in chunks, or you can give your kids slices and they can use cookie cutter shapes to make their own before they make the skewers.

Banana sandwiches. Who knew?

Kiwis, bananas, and mandarin oranges!

Caterpillar grape skewers with chocolate chips and cream cheese dollops(guessing there) for the eyeballs. I saw another example with star sprinkles that may be less messy (just lick it slightly wet and stick stars on).

Watermelon, Kiwi, halved grapes, nuts, strawberries, and shredded mint leaves or lettuce(?)

I find that this form of watermelon makes for being easier to eat (smaller mess), all ages!

This is probably best geared towards older children. You don't have to use grapes, pretty much any fruit or vegetable I can think of would work too, but the spherical ones would probably yield the best results. Ideas include blueberries, tomatoes, broccoli, strawberries, apple slices, etc. (Watch out for the ones that stain!)

Simple cracker sandwiches! Just give them the cut up ingredients and let them assort their own edible creations.

Laundry

Seriously, right!?!

Grocery Shopping

This was perhaps one of the most taxing things for me to do whilst pregnant. This also would be a great thing to delegate to someone willing to help. Keep a paper list on the fridge or one in your phone so that you can keep track of things you need. This will also help with budgeting. If it's not possible for someone else to go for you, here are some things to remember.

*Pace yourself. Figure out how much you can handle, it may be better for one person to do it all in one go, but for another it's better to do more than one trip to the store with a shorter duration.

* If you need to, use the electric scooters if available. No shame in it, you need food! I've only done with once, and it was because my leg was out of commission and I needed medication to treat it. But while I was riding I kept thinking, "WHY have I not done this yet while pregnant?!" Sure it was hard to hold both of my kids on my lap, but it may be a resource I use again in the future.

* While I was pregnant with my second, I would use the Sam's Club in store pickup as much as possible. I love this! It's great because my husband would pick it up on his way home from work. You do need a membership to use this, and you can sometimes find coupons to make membership cheaper. The only downside that I see is that my family is still small enough that we don't always need to buy in bulk, and our budget can't allow that we only shop at Sam's Club. Go here for their website! Also a plus, they will ship some items, like diapers, baby wipes, disinfectant wipes, coffee, etc to your home for free!



*Which brings us to this option! This one is my favorite, and I hope to live in an area that has a Walmart that does this someday soon! Not all Walmart stores participate, but they will allow you to shop online (same as Sam's but cheaper) and they will load your car for you!!! Oh my goodness, to completely avoid the cacophony of shopping with children!! This will be great for budgeting as well.  Go here to go to the website to learn more and see if there is a site near you. And though I haven't done it yet myself, when I investigated into it an employee told me that if you order $35 or more of online non perishable groceries, they will ship it to your home, regardless if you have participating Walmart grocery stores nearby or not.Think of all the time you can save by using the "free 2 day shipping" option! So even if they don't have a participating store nearby, hopefully this will cut down shopping time and you can just get non perishables in person.


*Amazon Prime Pantry is something that I have only recently learned about. And this could potentially be a good option too. The only thing is that they don't do perishables, but anything to cut down on your shopping time helps, right? And you can find alot of deals that are cheaper than what you'd find in the store! Again, membership is needed. Go here for their website to learn more.

Cleaning

As far as this is concerned, just do what you can. Think small, tiny, baby steps and only doing what is necessary. If at all possible, paying someone to come clean or having a volunteer is ideal if the rest of the family isn't able to compensate because of time or age. However, consider this an option. Even when my son was 18 months, I started him helping to unload the dishwasher, and he does the utensils all by himself.

Disinfectant Wipes 

Girls, these things will change your life! And, they come with free shipping from Sam's Club! Keeping these next to the toilet is a lifesaver when there is high traffic bathrooms or potty training children. Let's be real, who wants to stick their head in a gross toilet!? They'll also come to your rescue with cleaning. Again, we're just doing the bare essentials. Wipe off the countertops with them, floors, you name it, these are one of my favorite household secrets!

Again, putting in a word for laundry here because I don't know about you, but I feel like in my normal non pregnancy days, it consumes my life! Just throw the loads in, don't worry about folding, just do what you can. Procrastinating is going to lead to mildewy, stinky, moldy laundry that may not be able to be rescued.

The Most Important Thing....